Adoption Journey

UPDATED – FEBRUARY 26, 2010

Jake looked at me on Wednesday night and said, “I love you.”  I melted.  He now says it to me when I say it to him.

UPDATED – FEBRUARY 24, 2010

We received a court date for March.  We are one step closer to finalizing Jake’s adoption.

UPDATED – FEBRUARY 14, 2010

Jake turned 15 months on February 5.  He is a big boy let me tell you.  We say he has man-hands.  Stacy says he is retaining water in his feet.  This kid loves to eat!

We are meeting with our social worker tomorrow morning to finalize Jake’s therapy (occupational and sensory).  The people we have been working with have been wonderful.

We are waiting to hear from our adoption attorney about the hearing date.  We are close to finalizing Jake’s adoption.  Yeah!  This means he will legally be our child.  We can get Jake a birth certificate and a social security number.

He is saying some new words: tummy, night night, doggie, daddy, momma, kitty.  He is recognizing words and sentences when we say them (i.e., go to the table to eat, come here, give me a kiss).

He loves to give high-five.  Today, Bella taught him how to fist bump.  Cute.

Jake poops more than any child I have ever known.  Seriously.

He and Bella are still working on their relationship. We did not anticipate this element to be so hard.  However, we are told that it just takes time and intentional effort.  We are committed.

UPDATED – JANUARY 26, 2010

Babies Can’t Wait sent out two therapists to do a full evaluation on Jake.  We are waiting to hear back from them on what services they will provide.

Jake and Bella have played better together this week.  I will take all those moments I can get.

We also signed and notarized our legal petition for Jake’s finalization.  I am thinking we will wrap that up by the end of February.

UPDATED – JANUARY 14, 2010

Our adoption attorney started our petition for finalization.  We cannot complete everything until we have our final post-placement visit, which will be next month.

This past week, Babies Can’t Wait came to the house to do an initial assessment of Jake.  They will discuss if he qualifies to receive therapy (areas: speech and occupational).

Jake and Bella have some good connecting moments.  We would love to see more.  I spoke with a therapist last week who specializes in international adoption.  I shared with him what was going on, and he made several observations and recommendations.  He believes Jake is still working through grief and needs to learn how to do a few things we assume he knew how to do.  We have embraced most of what the therapist recommended.  We are eager to see results!

Stacy and I are doing well.  We are still trying to make the necessary adjustments.

Jake is doing some funny things.  He loves to look at you and “wink” with both his eyes.  He also loves to do high-five.  His only word is “da da.”  He has that playful and mischievous look in his eye…uh oh!  The kid can eat like nobody I have ever seen.

We recently adopted a dog.  We all love her (Dakota).  Jake is learning how to be sweet when petting her.  Bella loves to kiss and hug Dakota.  We are thankful that the dog is already house trained!  We think Dakota will be therapeutic for everyone, and even create bridges between the kids.

UPDATED – DECEMBER 15, 2009

We are in the beginning stages of finalization (completed 6 months after child is placed with family).  I am ready to be done (more money out and more paperwork to do)…which should be around the end of February.

I was reading back through paperwork and saw again something that encouraged me:  Jake’s birth mother named him Seung-hyeon.  What his name means is cool.  Seung (ascend) hyeon (sunlight).  His birth mother wanted him to grow up as a bright and warm sun light.

My prayer is that he may grow up to be a light to the world.

UPDATED – DECEMBER 8, 2009

I spoke with our adoption attorney this morning.  We meet with her on Friday to begin the finalization process.  What exactly does this mean?  This is part of the adoption process where Jake will become a USA citizen and conclude any legal matters related to Jake and his adoption.  This is “the end” of the process if you will.

UPDATED – DECEMBER 7, 2009

Jake continues to walk.  He is getting faster.  He also likes to follow you from room to room.  However, he still loves you to pick him up to be held.  In fact, I think he follows us around in hopes we will just pick him up.  Who knows?!

He is still sleeping pretty well.  He cries out from time to time during the night.  Don’t know why but he does.

He is doing well with both sets of grandparents.  He loves to play with them.

He recently went to church and stayed in the nursery for the first time.  I was nervous.  However, he did really well.  The people that cared for him said they loved having him and that he was shy at first but then played.

Jake loves food.  I mean loves food.  There are some food types he does not like, but not too many.  He especially loves bread, bananas, and anything with sugar (of course).  He is still trying to learn how to use a sippy cup.  We have to put a little chocolate syrup or vanilla in the cup so he will drink the milk.

He is in a car seat that faces forward now.  I think he likes this better so he can see more of what is happening.

He and Bella are still “at odds.”  She loves to “love” him.  However, he wants his space.  This is still our biggest obstacle.

He is one stubborn little guy.

He has learned several words.  If you say to him, “kiss,” he will lean his head forward for you to kiss him.  Also, if you say, “hug,” he will lean into your shoulder for a hug.  I do this a lot.  It is awesome.

UPDATED – NOVEMBER 16, 2009

Jake is walking on his own.  He still enjoys holding on to things, but he is for sure walking on his own.  He does love to hold your hand if you are patient enough to walk slowly with him.  He is getting around for sure!

We are having a tough time with he and Bella’s relationship.  We are struggling to have them get along.  We are asking some outsider for insight.  Hopefully, we can develop a strategy to combat this frustration.

Jake still prefers his Daddy.  Bella constantly tells Jake how much she loves him.  Stacy loves to squeeze his chunky cheeks.

We went last week for his one-year check up and he received three lovely shots.  Jake soaked up his mommy’s comfort.

We have our three month post-placement appointment on Wednesday morning.  I will post new pictures soon.

UPDATED – NOVEMBER 06, 2009

Since you last read, there are lots of changes and a few areas that we would love to see change.

Jake turned 1 yesterday (November 5).  We are having his birthday party with immediate family tomorrow.

He is now holding on to furniture and walking quickly around them.  He has recently taken steps.  In fact, just last weekend, he took about 8 steps.

He is now on whole milk.  Yeah, no more formula.

He is learning to drink from a sippy cup.  He would much rather us hold it for him.

We are beginning to introduce him to table food.  He is liking that.  Of course, he loves any food.

He is doing well with both sets of grandparents.  In fact, we have left him alone with them on a few occasions.

Jake is still crying went put to bed.  However, the duration has decreased.  He cries off and on during the night still.

He only takes one nap during the day for about 2 hours.

He hates baths.

He loves to go on walks.

Jake definitely prefers his daddy.

And then there’s the combination of Jake and Bella.  This is one area where we would like to see improvement and would appreciate your prayers.  Bella loves him so much.  However, I think Jake looks at her as a nuisance.  She constantly touches his head and picks him up, only for us to hear him cry.  We hear time helps this.  We are waiting:)

Another area we would love to see get better is his frequent crying during the day.  If you are not holding him, well, you might as well count on screaming and crying.  I mean the annoying kind.  I cannot walk six inches away from him before he melts down.

Jake is cute as he can be (of course, we are biased). You should see him laugh when we do the silliest of things.

He loves to crawl on me when I simply lay down in the floor.  We will be wrestling in the floor before long:)

We will post some pictures on this blog soon.

UPDATED – SEPTEMBER 14, 2009

Life is tough right now…not going to make it sound picture perfect.

Jake cries a lot.  I mean a lot.  I know you see the smiling pictures we post.  However, there are pictures we do not post and do not even take but if we did they would include a lot of tears.

We have pursued the right people and received good advice.  We have done the recommendations.  However, nothing changes.  We must believe that time is the key.  This will simply take time.

Plus, if you mix in so many other things going on in our lives, it only makes life a little more difficult to work through.

We are more irritated.  Our patience with other family members is minimal.  We are short with each other.

So, there is my update.  Not pretty.  We must believe the calling to care for an orphan is not guaranteed to be easy, yet it’s the commitment to the calling that makes God smile.

UPDATED – AUGUST 31, 2009

Jake is eating like crazy.  Wow.  That dude can hose down some food.  He is my little Hoover.

He is sleeping better at night.  In fact, we had several nights where he did not make a sound all night.  Thank you, God!

He is playing better with Bella.  We think he has just resigned himself to allowing her to drive him crazy-rubbing his head as though it’s good luck, picking him up a lot, being in his face as she kisses him a million times).  Bella loves him so much.  She is such a good caretaker.  I have seen incredible tenderness in her life.  She also loves when he goes to the bus stop with her.

He is smiling.  He is laughing.  In fact, his laugh almost sounds like a cough.  When he laughs, we all laugh.  It cracks us up.

He is crawling around the house.  He is pulling up.

He is still not wanting to be separated from us.  So, we still hear his whine and cry when we step out.  We are being patient as he just needs to be reminded we are still there and we will come right back.

We finally decided to branch out slowly by allowing our parents to hold him.  He hesitated but went to them for a short period of time.  While they held him he kept his eyes on us.  We were his security for sure.  He then put his arms out for Stacy or me to hold him.  We are not eager for the world to hold him quite yet.  We want to slowly make this transition.  So, do not be offended if we do not allow you to hold him yet.  Respect our process as we strive to protect him as much as possible.

UPDATED – AUGUST 21, 2009

Jake slept through the night last night.  Yeah.  In fact, I think he slept through the night for two straight nights…I think…I’m still tired and the days run together.

We are going today or Monday for his labs.  Yikes!

Tomorrow is Bella’s birthday party…so, that means “all” our family will meet Jake for the first time.  We will be wearing him most of the time so people do not feel compelled to ask, “May I hold him?”  This protects him and us as we continue to bond with him.

We are loving Jake’s smile.  His laugh makes us laugh.  We love when he and Bella get to laughing together.  Hilarious.

He now loves to get in the umbrella stroller, facing outward, and go for our nightly walk.

Our biggest challenge is the separation component.  However, I have recently chatted with several people that can provide insight.  We want to make sure we are appropriately addressing his needs.

Bottom line…the choice to adopt Jake was the right choice for us.  I still learn so much about God adopting me into His family through our experience.

UPDATED – AUGUST 17, 2009

The last week has included celebrations and tough moments.

We are celebrating how well Jake has been eating.  He now eats food at every meal!  This is a big deal since he did not do this for the first week of being in the states.

Jake is also “talking” more and more.  He loves to crawl over to me then on me…and look at me to say “da-da.”  I don’t know if he is actually calling me “da-da” or just making noises, but I like it regardless:)

We are also celebrating baby steps when it comes to him sleeping at night.  I am no longer on the floor with him.  He is in his crib now.  He isn’t sleeping through the night, but it is a great step.  He still cries (I should say scream) a fair amount, but it has decreased.  We are thankful for that.

He is also doing this noise…it sounds like he is clearing his throat…when he gets super excited.  We laugh when he does it.  And in return, he joins the laughter.  In fact, while I am writing this he is sitting at my feet doing the noise and laughing.  I am laughing with him.

The daytime has been a struggle.  He screams if you do not carry him all the time.  He screams if you are out of his sight for any time at all.  He whines a lot for sure.  We think he probably got his way with the person caring for him.  This may sound minute but it can be tiresome, especially when you are trying to discover how to best address his needs only to have him continue screaming.  We are hopeful that over the next 4 weeks this will decrease as we implement some recommended strategies.

We are headed to the doctor this morning for his 9-month check-up and lab work (yikes).

Bella is having fun with him.  I am so proud of her patience with him and the transition.  Stacy is doing a great job caring for Bell and for him.  She is balancing so much right now and I admire how well she is doing.

UPDATED – AUGUST 11, 2009

We are glad Jake is home with us.  We love watching him smile and laugh.

The last 4 days have had highs and lows…

The nights are brutal right now.  I mean tough.  However, I must say God is teaching me some life lessons in these moments.

Jake wants to held 24/7…literally.  Of course, we cannot blame him because they carried him all the time in Korea.

He is not sleeping at night.  He does take naps pretty well.  He does not like to be put down.  If you walk away, he crawls behind you screaming the whole way.  It’s sad but cute.

He is a eating a little bit better.  Some applesauce and bananas.  We are praying this gets better too.

We know love and time is what makes all the difference!

We went to the doctor yesterday and she said he looks good.  We go back tomorrow and then back next Monday to make sure his levels are appropriate for being in the USA.  The doctor said he looks like he is attaching well to us.  Yeah!!!

Bella has been a big help.  She does not care for his crying all the time though.  It is funny when he starts, she looks at him and says, “Don’t even start that.”  We just laugh.  Btw-Bella started kindergarten yesterday and she enjoyed her day.  That makes mom and dad feel better.

Stacy is slowly adjusting.  She has great insight to our journey that will one day be shared I hope.  Jake loves being in her arms.

I would like to say thank you to the families that have called, emailed, and brought us meals.  Your kindness and support has helped us a lot.  Again, thank you.

Thank you to all who have followed our adoption journey.  We hope you have enjoyed the story unfolding.  Yes, I will keep on posting updates for you.  I also do this because it is like a journal for me to print out and keep for Jake.

Oh yeah, I will hopefully post some pics on my Facebook page soon from when he was born.  We received these when we picked him at the airport.  They are cute.

I heart God.  I heart Stacy.  I heart Bella.  I heart Jake.

UPDATED – AUGUST 07, 2009

Here is a little insight over the last 2 days…

Wednesday night was rough.  He cried and screamed inconsolably for 4 hour hours (midnight-4am).  Stacy and I sensed he was grieving.  Made us sad for him.  On Thursday, we experimented with some foods.  However, he does not like any of them:)  Oh well, he will eventually adjust we know.

We went on two walks yesterday.  He loves to be carried in the carrier against my chest facing me.

He loves to be held.  The people that cared for him in Korea carried him a lot.  He is crawling a little bit.

I will say there Jake has a little preference for me…yes, Stacy is the one who mentioned this.  However, he loves being with her too.

I went to make him a bottle last night but he fell asleep in the mean time:)  I posted a picture on my Facebook page.

Last night was better.  After a little crying, he went to sleep.  He slept from 2am-11am.  Thank you, God, for this gift.

Bella had a friend invite her to spend the night off last night and play all day today.  Helps a lot.  I will say, Bella has been a great help.  She is proud to help take care of Jake.

We are remaining flexible and adjusting with Jake.  Stacy is doing a great job with him and Bella.  I know this is a balancing act.

I am planning on taking Bella on a date with dad tomorrow.  I want her to know she is still a priority.  We are really working hard on this.

We are thankful for your support and prayers.  Seriously, thank you.

I will say God is teaching me some great life lessons in the privacy of our home.  I am thankful for this.  I might share in the future.  I want a little time to process and internalize His lessons in my life.

UPDATED – AUGUST 05, 2009

Thanks to Lance Martin for being our videographer, and to Michelle Standerfer for being our photographer.  You guys rock!

Overwhelming.  Did not seem real.  Powerful.  Emotional.  Some thoughts from last night.

The escort who brought Jake to us was so sweet.  She cried when she passed him off.

The transition went well.  We changed him and gave him a bottle at the airport.

After a nice crying spell in the car last night, Jake settled down.  The poor little guy…new smells, new voice tones, new sounds, new people, and then there’s the car seat (which he is not a fan of:).  He did sleep part of the way coming home.

Once we were home, we put Bella into bed and well, Jake wanted to play…so we did.  I put on the baby carrier and he fell asleep on my chest.  So, we slept together for about 3 hours.  He woke up and Stacy gave him a bottle…after we had to use Google to convert cc’s to ounces (they use different measurements in Korea).  He went back to sleep a little while later.  Stacy put him into his crib and he stayed there for nearly 6 hours.  Of course, he thought it was night.  Oh boy:)

We are tired but doing well.  Very thankful.

Today we have played with him.  He has smiled and laughed.  He got a bath with Bella.  I just rocked him to sleep…and put him in his crib.

Now, we are about to sit down and have some one-to-one time with Bella…there will be cake involved…yummy!

Stay tuned.

UPDATED – AUGUST 04, 2009

Dear Jake,

This is your daddy.

Tonight, I will get to see you for the first time face-to-face.

What will that moment be like?  I only can dream and think about it right now.

I’m a little nervous.  A little anxious.  A ton excited.

Ever since we finished our home study in 2007, the journey seems so long.

Silence for 16 months.

Then came April 13, 2009. Your medical records and newborn picture were given to us.  Btw-you had some crazy chicken legs:)

I was speechless…and that rarely happens.

That night we started to pray.  Your mommy, me, and Bella have prayed for you every night.  In fact, so many others have joined us in praying for you.

We celebrate your life.  We celebrate where you were born.  We celebrate your birth parents.  The decision they made make an adoption plan for you showed love, courage and sacrifice.  They knew a healthy home would be provided for you.  We thank them for your life.  We remember them.  I have often prayed for your birth parents.

We also thank God for your life.  He created your black hair…and a lot of it at that:)  He created your brown eyes.  He created your smile.

He knew you before you were even born.  While you were in your birth mom’s womb, He was making you just right.  He knew before you were born that we would be a family.  I know sometimes life can be tough and we often do not script it like it happens, but there is an Author writing a beautiful story and you are a significant part.

Son, I love you.

I cannot wait to see you.  I will cry.  I will smile.  I cannot wait to hold you.  There are so many unknowns in the transition.  I know you have experienced loss.  I know you will grieve and it’s okay.  I know you might push us away for a little while and that is okay too.  We will do our best to just hold you and to let you know this is your final stop…you are indeed home.  Your foster parents did a great job caring for you.  We thank them for that.  We are thankful they showed you the pictures of us.  Don’t we look like a crazy bunch of people:)

Jake, do you know where your name came from?

People in my family call me Jake.  Your mommy and me always said that if we ever had a son we would call him Jake.

I want to be a great daddy to you.  I want you to see me love your mommy and your sister, Bella.

Most of all, I want you to see me love Jesus.  Son, as you get older you will see your story as the big picture of the Bible.  We were separated from God, outside his family, and needed a way in but unable to do anything on our own.  Therefore, God gave to us His Son, Jesus, that we might believe in Him and have life like no other.  The Bible says we are adopted into God’s family.  Sound familiar?  Your personal story is an incredible picture of the gospel story.

I cannot promise we will always get along.  I cannot promise you will always agree with the decisions we make.  I cannot promise you the finest things.

I can promise you love.  I can promise you hope.  I can promise you laughter.  I can promise you God chats.  I can promise you an awesome family.

Your mommy and sister are so excited.  Speaking of your sister…a little heads up…she talks 24/7.  She can be dramatic.  She loves deeply.  She love to play.  She already put her pink tea party set in your room.  Sorry about that:)  Speaking of your mommy…she cares with compassion and mercy.  She doesn’t talk as much as Bella and I do…we don’t give her a chance to get a word in.  She lwill love to kiss you on the cheek…probably still when you’re a teenager:)  She is very gentle with her love.  She is wonderful.

Welcome home, son.

I love you more than you know.  I will spend life showing you.

Your thankful daddy.

UPDATED – JULY 29, 2009

For sure, Jake is coming home Tuesday, August 4.  He flight is coming from Korea to San Francisco to Orlando to Atlanta.  He will be in late Tuesday night.  Yes, pictures will be posted for you.  Most of the pics will be posted on my Facebook page.  Add me as a friend to see the pics.  Will keep you updated.

UPDATED – JULY 28, 2009

Received word that Jake is coming home to us on Tuesday August 4.

UPDATED – JULY 25, 2009

Well…guess what?  I received word yesterday that Jake is ready to come home to us.  Wow.  After waiting this long.  Here we are.  What’s next?  They will now pick a date for him to fly to Atlanta.  I will let you know the specific date.  I think it will be in the next three weeks.  Wow.

P.S. I am so glad we did Jake’s room this week:)  Most of it…I think:)

P.S.S. Stacy attends a baby shower for Jake today.  Our families and friends are so kind to do this for us.  We are thankful!

UPDATED – JULY 14, 2009

We are having a baby shower for Jake on Saturday, July 25.  We do not expect this, but we are very grateful.  We are registered at TARGET and Babies ‘R’ Us.

UPDATED – JULY 4, 2009

We received updated pictures of Jake.  He is 8 months old on July 5.

UPDATED – JUNE 16, 2009

Word on the street says that two baby showers for Jake are coming up in the next several months.  I am amazed at how thoughtful and kind people are to our family.  We want to share this journey with them.  I will let you know when the baby shower dates are finalized.

UPDATED – JUNE 15, 2009

We went to have our fingerprints done again (since they expired).  We are still waiting on when Jake might be coming home from South Korea.  I do know they are doing a Visa interview and after that we should know more.

UPDATED – JUNE 10, 2009

(from my original blog post on June 08, 2009)

In case you do not know, we are adopting a boy from South Korea.

Perhaps the question that is asked most often is, “Why did you not adopt a child from the United States?”

I want to address this question right now.

We chose South Korea for 3 distinct reasons:
1. The doors were clearly open for us to adopt from this country-the timing of us getting on the list was amazing.
2. Available children in the foster care system are typically 8 years old or older. We wanted to respect the birth order-someone younger than Bella was imperative.
3. Internationally, we recognize there is less opportunity to hear the Gospel and we desired to provide a child a forever family that would make the Gospel story available through our lives.

We did not choose South Korea because we do not like the United States. In fact, we are clearly aware there are children in need here. Did you know there are approximately 500,000 children currently in the foster care system?  We fully support domestic and international adoption.  In fact, my wife was the Domestic Adoption Specialist at Bethany Christian Services-she worked in the Domestic Department for six years.

I think we need to educate people to ask the right questions.

The right question here is, “Where are there children without families?” Everywhere. We should not have disdain for those who choose international versus domestic or vice versa. Perhaps the greater question is, “What will we do about children everywhere that are in need?” People too often criticize and refuse to engage in the process to provide hope to orphans.

There is also the God factor in the decision. You must see where God is working and placing you. Hard to argue with God.

UPDATED – MAY 30, 2009

Our fingerprints are to be done again on June 13 (they only last 18 months and we are due for another round).  Today we received notice from the Bureau of Consular Affairs notifying us that our case has been forwarded to the Embassy of the United States in South Korea.  We are one step closer to Jake coming home to us.  In fact, we are cautiously thinking that he may come home sooner than expected.  Would that not be awesome!  This part of the approval is done by the State Department’s National Visa Center.  Jake has to get a visa to travel to the USA.  We are awaiting more medical reports and final visa approval.  He will then be assigned an escort to bring him to the USA.  More to come as soon as we get information…!

UPDATED – MAY 08, 2009

Papers are heading out.  We have to get our fingerprints done again-they only last 18 months.  Thank goodness we get one free extension.  We are now waiting for Jake’s visa information.  This all goes through Immigration now-kind of scary that it’s in their hands.  God, would you allow the right person at Immigration to receive our papers and to handle them gently, wisely, and swiftly?

UPDATED – MAY 06, 2009

We received our legal papers.  This process normally takes upwards of 4-10 weeks, but our papers were returned in 2 weeks.  Yeah!  Our home study update will be done tomorrow morning.  We will then send all papers off for final approval.  We also received Jake’s April medical update.  Looks like he is a growing boy.  He now weighs a little over 16lbs.  He was 6 months old yesterday.  I was thinking about Mother’s Day this Sunday.  My heart goes out to Jake’s birth mother and the courage she demonstrated when she made her decision to place him for adoption.  I celebrate her and recognize the hurt and emptiness she might feel this Mother’s Day.  Because of her selfless decision Jake will be afforded a forever family.

UPDATED – APRIL 20, 2009

We received our referral from Korea.  A referral contains the pictures and medical records of the child being adopted.  We saw the pics and learned we are getting a BOY!  He is now 5 months old-born November 2008.  The pic we have of him are newborn.  We are excited to get more pics soon.  He should come home to us between August-October.  Our 4-year old daughter is excited too.  She has named a bear after him already and is carrying him around saying I’m a big sister:)

UPDATED – MARCH 27, 2009

Our friend, Elizabeth Giddens, owns Pampered Princess Parties and she offered to donate 10% of her parties to support our international adoption.  We want to publicly say thank you to Elizabeth and her supportive heart.  She is playing a significant role in giving hope to a child in need.  She is helping a child to have a forever family.  If you are looking to throw a spa party for your children and their friends, take the time to visit her site.  Remember, when you schedule a party, you are also helping bring hope to a child in need…and having a great party!

UPDATED – MARCH 23, 2009

Not much to add today.  We received a letter in the mail that declined us for an adoption grant.  Looks like we are not in enough debt to have the need for a grant.  Not bitter.  Just don’t understand.  We had two friends offer their small business services to us to use as fundraisers.  Stacy and I are exploring this possibility.  On Sunday, a former elder in our church told Stacy he thinks our adoption referral will come this week.  I so hope so, Greg!  Anyways, we really are thankful for your prayers.  As our case worker recently reminded me, “It’s all in God’s timing.”  Not something I really wanted to read at the time, but it was good she reminded me of something I need to say out loud everyday.

UPDATED – MARCH 01, 2009

I am simply frustrated this morning.  I thought our referral would be here in January…then that month passed.  Hope for February…then that month passed.  I am having to work through my frustration.  Pray for Stacy and me if you would.  Of course, we are still excited but Satan is working overtime on us while we wait for that adoptive child.  I am trying to get to the point where I fully believe this extra time is needed so the child for us can be selected.  However, my heart is not there yet.  This is just me talking to you.  We are also praying for about $5,000 before the end of this month for our adoption.  Humanly possible?  No!  Supernaturally possible?  Yes!

UPDATED – FEBRUARY 09, 2009

Stacy and I are expecting our referral at any time now.  This means we will get a picture of our child with medical records.  However, with the struggling economy we are feeling it with adoption expenses.  In fact, we are working on a plan to raise $5,000 this month.  God, help!  If you would like to share in our adoption journey by giving a financial gift, you would be bringing life, love and hope to an orphan.  Bless you.  Contact me if you would like to contribute.  Again, bless you.

UPDATED – JANUARY 07, 2009
I received some new forms from Shaohannah’s Hope about our application for an adoption grant. I just emailed them back. We shall see. We are to receive our referral this month or next month. Getting there…now, we have to find some more money:)

UPDATED – DECEMBER 15, 2008
We are putting our team together for when we receive our child.  So far…

Lance Martin – videographer

Michelle Standerfer – photographer

UPDATED – DECEMBER 9, 2008
1-We learned that 5 referrals (profile, picture, and medical records of adoptive children) came in last week.  This is not the norm.  We have seen some months receive a maximum of 5 and some months none.  Therefore, we move up on the list.  We are now 4th or 5th on the list (in the nation).  We are still expecting our referral in January 2009.

2-We applied for a grant through Shaohannah’s Hope (www.shaohannahshope.org), an organization founded by Steven Curtis and Mary Beth Chapman, that strives to reach the church with God’s call to care for orphans and to help more experience the miracle of adoption by removing financial barriers, primarily through awarding adoption grants.  We should receive news within a couple months.  We have been working hard for a long time to save, but this grant would be a HUGE help to us.

Original Entry

As many of you know, we are adopting a child from South Korea. The anticipation arrival date of our referral (picture and medical records) is approximately January 2009. The child will then be escorted from South Korea to the USA 3-6 months post-referral. When the child arrives in the USA, he or she will be approximately 6-12 months old.

We feel it is important to communicate the reasons why we want to adopt so that everyone can be well-informed and comfortable with our future plans.

Adoption is a choice. We believe God has placed a desire in us to share in this incredible journey of adoption. We are readily aware that there are so many children in need of a home and family. There are children in other countries, children in America, and children in our very town that need attention. We feel a pull to the country of South Korea. To avoid confusion, the country of South Korea prevents us from selecting the sex of our child since we already have one biological child. We will trust His selection.

Adoption is such a picture of God’s mercy and grace. The Gospel is centered on the truth that we have been adopted by God through Jesus Christ. When God chose to adopt you and me as His children, He changed our identity, our name, and our life. This truth of the Gospel will be even more visible in our lives when our child has come home to us as we will see such a tangible illustration of God’s adoption of us.

In our wedding vows, it became our goal together to “love God, love each other and love others.” We believe we have an obligation to respond to the needs of people around us. In fact, we are mandated by God to care for the orphans. We don’t believe that everyone is called to adopt, but that every Christian has a part to play in caring for “the least of these.” The important thing is to understand that there is a need for adoptive parents. Stacy has witnessed and been part of families who are formed together through adoption and God began to stir that desire within both of us several years ago. Specifically, we felt called to adopt internationally. We chose international adoption because we know the Christian persecution is growing and this child will be presented with the Gospel and have the freedom to know Christ in our home. We know that God predestined this child to be with us before the beginning of time and that is how special he or she is to God and to us.

We also wanted to address a myth about adoption. In domestic adoption and in a South Korean adoption, there is a birth mother who is making the choice to make an adoption plan for her child. A common myth is that children who are in need of being adopted are unwanted children. It’s actually quite the contrary. Granted, with every adopted child, there is a unique set of circumstances, but most children that are placed for adoption are genuinely loved. The choice to place a child for adoption comes with great sacrifice and courage. The typical view of a birth mom is usually the most contradictory to the truth. Most birth moms are very smart, strong women who, for whatever reason, decide that parenting is not the best option for their own baby. Most birth moms have spent months wrestling over the decision to place their child in a stranger’s home, and for them it is the ultimate act of humility and sacrifice. In reality, birth parents choose adoption because they believe adoption is the best option for their child. For a South Korean birth mother, the reason is mainly poverty and she wants to meet the needs of her child, but cannot except through making an adoption plan.

There are so many children in America and other countries without mothers and fathers…there is a need. What an amazing way for God to bring families together. We know that our family will be forever changed because of adoption.

We ask that you join us in praying for our baby, for his or her birth parents, and for the day that we meet our child face to face at the Atlanta Airport! God will bring it all together in His own time.

We have become incredibly passionate about adoption. It is painful for us to continue knowing the difficulties children have being adopted, and we desperately want to encourage and educate people about the gift and beauty of adoption. Please feel free to ask us any questions.

We are teaching Bella about her important role of being a big sister, what her sibling will look like as far as skin, hair and eye color. She frequently shares with other people about her new brother or sister that she will soon have. For example, she squints her eyes when trying to tell someone about Korean eyes☺ She is so excited!

We pray that each of you will open your hearts and be a part of growing this family through adoption. In addition, please pray as we trust God for the finances to complete the process.

Imagine providing a home of hope, love, grace, boundaries, and possibility to a child that has been orphaned! Our imagine part will soon become our reality. Excited!