or is it?
I was interviewing for a job some time ago. The church was great. The team was great.
I was about ready to close the deal, when the Lead Pastor said he wanted to meet. He also said I should bring Stacy.
Strange. What was up?
We sat down and he said that two people called him and said negative things about me.
Mind you, these two people did not know me. We had never even sat down for conversation. They knew me from a distance. They said inappropriate and untrue things about me. They were friends and decided to do what they did together.
I did not get the job.
I was hurt. I was angry.
After that meeting, my wife and I cried. In fact, I wept for about thirty minutes after that in my car.
I wanted revenge on those two individuals who said hurtful and untrue things.
Would revenge make me feel better? Would revenge be sweet? I thought so.
A brain-imaging study found that the enjoyment of striking back is processed in the same part of the brain that recognizes the pleasure of eating chocolate.
Would hitting a pillow or punching bag make me feel better? I thought so.
Did you know that research shows hitting a pillow or punching bag only makes us more aggressive towards someone who hurt us? It actually increases negative feelings.
Negative reciprocity is dangerous.
Rod Wagner write, “…it takes a rare level of maturity and self-awareness to let the trespass pass.”
George Orwell said, “Revenge is sour.”
So, what did I do?
Let what they did pass. Yes, it took me some time.
God kindly reminded me that He forgives me. I should extend the same. So, I did. Not easy, but I did.
I quickly learned that forgiving another is often more for me. There is liberty when we release that which tries to hold on to us.
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Looks like the full rss now! Thanks!
Good Point
John Ortberg remarks along these lines when he comments about “venting” in “Everybody’s Normal Till You Get to Know Them”
i am checking on that for you. thanks for letting me know.
Hi Jason! I’ve been enjoying your blogs for sometime now. First became familiar when you spoke at Vinings Lake last year. When I see your blogs in Google Reader I only see a short rss feed. Is this something that you control? Is it a possibility to go to a full rss feed? This would save me from having to click over your full site everytime I want to read your blogs. Thanks!